


Stargazing

by Amikotsu



Category: Naruto
Genre: Day 7, Domestic Fluff, Grief/Mourning, KakaObi Week 2019, M/M, Memories, Suicide Notes, domestic life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 23:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17776172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amikotsu/pseuds/Amikotsu
Summary: Kakashi and Obito spend a hot, humid day moving house. They go through their numerous boxes, packing and unpacking multiple memories. After Obito finds Kakashi's storage room, Kakashi can't run away anymore.





	Stargazing

Kakashi added the last table lamp to a box marked _living room_ , separating two lamps with a few old newspapers, just something to keep the ceramic lamps from bumping into one another -- Obito really liked those lamps. The lamps had cream-colored bases with colorful, hand-painted cherry blossom trees and lighter, cream-colored lamp shades. At one time, they'd belonged to Obito's mother, something found at a flea market. Kakashi had finished packing the living room items. He'd cleared out the end tables by their tan sofa, then the coffee table, the paintings on the walls, all of their movies and books. In total, he had five large boxes, all of them labeled and closed, flaps neatly tucked in. That left all of the furniture (which had to be moved from the apartment to the house), their bedroom, the kitchen, and the bathroom. Kakashi reached up and swiped the back of his hand across the his exposed forehead; for the time being, in their little apartment, he'd removed his hitai-ate. Without the air conditioning, the apartment was hot and stuffy. He turned on the overhead fan and opened up some of the windows, then he threw open the sliding door that led to the balcony. The morning was still cool, so he lingered on the balcony, taking in the gentle breeze. 

Obito called himself sneaking around, but Kakashi heard him approaching; Obito always hit the squeaky floorboard near the sliding door. Arms slipped around Kakashi's waist, and he felt Obito's cheek against his back. Fingers laced, resting against Kakashi's abdomen, Obito let out a contented sigh. Kakashi assumed Obito had finished with their bedroom, that or Obito had finally needed a break. Of the two of them, Obito had spent more time packing. The night before, Kakashi had returned from a week-long mission to Amegakure. The whole thing was confidential, just another mission in his sealed ANBU record. Sometimes, he wished he could talk to Obito about his missions, that he could share that part of his life with someone, but that wasn’t the case. Besides, that had been his last official mission. He was done. Not by choice, but he was done. 

“I'm hungry,” Obito said, words slightly muffled by Kakashi's shirt. Kakashi had shed his jonin vest the moment he'd entered the hot, humid apartment. “Do you want me to make you something too?”

The arms slowly moved from around Kakashi's waist and Kakashi turned to brush masked lips against Obito's left cheek. The mask stayed on, until it was just the two of them, until they were alone in their apartment. Soon, it'd be their home. Gai wasn’t supposed to arrive for another two hours. He was the only one of their friends willing to help with the move, and Kakashi really couldn’t blame the others for making up flimsy excuses; if Kakashi had been asked to help someone move, he would have made up some excuse too. Gai was different though. Kakashi knew, deep down, that he was lucky to have a friend like Gai. He’d just never admit it out loud. He left Obito to say the nice things that needed said. Obito was the people person, not him. They balanced each other, in a way. Kakashi knew he was lucky to have someone like Obito in his life, but that was something else that he never admitted out loud. Sometimes, they communicated with little touches; other times, Obito voiced his affections. And Kakashi, well, he was working on it.

“I can make something,” Kakashi offered, one hand at Obito’s hip. Obito could cook, but he wasn’t that great. His attention wandered, so he often overcooked the food. Just last night, he’d burnt the halibut. “Do we still have the mackerel? I can make _saba shioyaki_.”

“Yes, but is this because I burnt the halibut? I only looked away for a second!” Obito insisted, a frown slowly forming. Kakashi gave Obito’s hip a light squeeze, and then they moved back into the living room, bypassing it for the kitchen. The whole floor plan was wide and open, especially without all the little furnishings. Obito was the one who had bought most of the art and the plants and the candles -- Obito was in almost everything in their apartment. “Do we need to unpack anything in the kitchen?”

“I didn’t get there yet.” Kakashi walked right to the kitchen cabinets and began rooting around for pots and pans. Their rice cooker had died last week, so they had to make rice the old-fashioned way. Kakashi reminded himself to pick up another as their personal housewarming gift. “We still have some leftover pickled cabbage. Will you start on the miso?”

As they prepared the food, Obito hummed a song. Kakashi couldn’t recognize it, but he wasn’t one to listen to music. Kakashi was a reader -- he’d even tried his hand at writing, once or twice -- and Obito liked music and art. Surprisingly, Obito painted well. He’d done some of the artwork Kakashi had packed away. One painting that Kakashi loved was of their team photo, back when Minato and Rin were still alive. It had been the centerpiece in their living room, the most important item in the room. At first, Kakashi hadn’t wanted the thing near him, but Obito had convinced him to display the painting. Obito had recovered first. Obito had taken his hand and helped him along the journey to recovery. Kakashi didn’t know what he’d do without Obito. He probably would have remained a broken man.

“Will you set the table?”

“On it.”

Obito left the counter, where he’d been dishing out pickled cabbage, and then grabbed some plates from one of the kitchen cabinets. The dishes had belonged to Obito’s grandmother. They were some of the only things Obito had left from the woman. He refused to eat on any other plates. Kakashi really couldn’t blame him. Kakashi had gone through hell to get his blade back, when he’d lost it at Kannabi. It’d been before he’d even forgiven his father. Some things just held more value than others. While Kakashi plated the fish and served the rice, Obito dished out the soup and cabbage. It was a small meal, but they didn’t need anything fancy. If it had been up to Obito, they probably would have ordered takeout for every day of the week. Kakashi had slowly reigned him in. The dirty pots and pans went into the sink to soak, the cookware hissing as hot metal met hot, soapy water. They’d finish the dishes before Gai arrived.

“Do you think we’ll be able to finish today? I only asked for Tuesday off,” Obito said, words sandwiched between bites of food. At least he didn’t talk with his mouth full. He had a habit of doing that too.

“If we can at least get the boxes into the house, we should be fine. We can sleep on a futon,” Kakashi replied, having given it some thought. Obito nodded, but he didn’t reply. Obito didn’t really like sleeping on futons; he’d said that they always hurt his back. Kakashi thought Obito made things up to get out of folding and storing and airing out the bedding. But they’d gotten a new bed, when they'd started sleeping together. They’d gotten a lot of things, when Obito had moved in with him. That had been years ago though. They’d only been roommates then.

“Where did you learn to make this?” Obito had finished the mackerel and most of the rice, leaving his pickled cabbage and soup. Kakashi didn’t like to brag, but he was a pretty good cook. Living alone, and not wanting to eat takeout every night, really helped.

“My mother had a lot of recipe cards. I found them in her things, when I moved out.” Kakashi might have hesitated, if someone else had asked him the question, but it was Obito, he told himself, and he didn’t mind exposing himself. They both tried to keep the communication going, especially since Obito had accused Kakashi of being emotionally constipated. They needed to communicate, or they’d lose one another.

“Are you sure you’re okay with moving back?”

“Hm, I thought you would have asked this before now,” Kakashi teased him. Obito’s cheeks turned red, and the man looked down at the remnants of breakfast. “We need more room, and the place has been sitting there, vacant, for years. It should have been torn down a long time ago.”

“No! It just needs some work,” Obito said, tapping his chopsticks against his plate. “I already planned everything out. We can hire teams of genin to help with repairs. I set aside some ryo, in case we wanted to buy a house. The repairs will be cheaper, so there should be plenty.”

“I don’t understand why you didn’t just pick a new house. What made you think of my old place?”

“Raido and Genma suggested it. It’s not far from their apartments, so they walk past it everyday. Obito stopped to finish off his rice, then he started on the cabbage. Raido and Genma did live near Kakashi’s old place, but Kakashi didn’t think they’d remember the place. Gai might have had something to do with it too, but Kakashi couldn’t prove it. Obito wasn’t above lying by omission. “It’s your family home. Since what happened with my clan, and then when they repurposed the district for new tenants, I realized that family homes mean something, to me, at least. You shouldn’t let it go. Didn’t you have any good times there?”

Kakashi looked down at his plate, chopsticks poking at individual grains of rice. In the past, the home had reminded him of his father’s death. He remembered walking in and finding his father, the man slumped over in a pool of blood. Kakashi had been too young for that. Then again, finding his father’s corpse, at any age, was just wrong. When he closed his eyes, he found himself walking in on the scene all over again. He still had nightmares about that day. But the place had been cleaned, the living-room floor spotless. There were no signs that Sakumo had killed himself there. Kakashi battled ghosts, waged war with memories. He wasn’t fighting alone though, not anymore. He’d agreed to the move because he thought he was finally strong enough to move forward, to face what had happened there and make new memories. He’d forgiven his father years ago. And even though the stages of grief hadn’t been completed, even though he stalled out somewhere between depression and acceptance, he had to force himself to keep taking steps forward.

“Yes,” Kakashi admitted. He’d been quiet for far too long, but Obito had been patient with him. Kakashi remembered dressing up for festivals, his dad returning home after long missions, and training in the backyard. And then he remembered his father’s failed mission. He remembered going home to find that someone had graffitied their house. He remembered broken windows and idle threats. He remembered the last time his father ruffled his hair.

“We’ll make new memories there,” Obito promised, as if reading Kakashi’s mind. “We’ll have a nice backyard, so you can kick my ass there, when we spar. We’ll fix the _engawa_ and spend some nights stargazing. It’ll be great.” Obito smiled at him, and Kakashi couldn’t help but smile back. Obito’s smiles were as infectious as his laughs, and Kakashi couldn’t defend himself against them, not anymore. “This will be good for us!”

“Tomorrow is team placement day at the academy,” Kakashi said, changing the subject. Obito finished off his food, then looked over at Kakashi, waiting. Sometimes he was so patient; other times, he was infuriatingly impatient. “I pick up my team at eight.”

“So you won’t be there until noon. That’s what you’re saying,” Obito laughed. Kakashi joined in, their laughter some of the last the apartment would hold, until new tenants moved in, until others built lives there. “I wish I could have been made a jonin sensei.”

“Why didn’t you volunteer?”

“I can’t stand bratty kids. I guess it’s because I dealt with you.”

“Ha ha.”

Kakashi didn’t believe Obito, but he didn’t want to pressure Obito to speak to him. With their food finished, they washed and dried the dishes, then they worked together to clean out the cabinets and pack away the kitchen. The major appliances stayed, but the microwave and the toaster were packed away. They wrapped the dishes in layers of newspaper and stacked them neatly in the boxes. Obito’s dishes went in one box, and the rest of the dishes went in another. They’d never realized how many dishes they had. The whole time, Obito hummed the same tune he’d been humming while preparing dinner. 

“I didn’t think I could handle it. Every mission I’m on ends up being a mess, and I can’t do that to three new genin. And I’d have to explain my scars and Kannabi,” Obito admitted, moving on to folding the flaps to close the boxes. They hadn’t taken too long with the kitchen, which left whatever remained in the bedroom and the bathroom. Kakashi didn’t know what to say, so Obito continued. “I knew Sasuke was going to graduate this year too. He still hates me. I shouldn’t have let the Hokage talk me out of fighting for custody. I should have done something, Kakashi. I wasn’t there for him, and now he wants nothing to do with me. Don’t stand there and tell me to give him time either. He’s had _years_ to forgive me. He’s had _years_ to try to maintain some type of relationship with me.”

“Obito, he’s just a kid. He’s not ready yet. You can’t force it, and you can’t blame yourself.”

“You don’t understand!”

“Yes, I do. I lost my father when I was young. Nothing you said did anything for me. I had to almost lose you, I had to lose Rin and Minato-sensei, to get a wake-up call.” Kakashi left his cardboard box open and went over to where Obito was kneeling. He got down next to him and closed his arms around Obito. Kakashi didn’t usually initiate hugs. He didn’t know how he felt about the closeness of it. Hugging someone was another way of exposing himself, and it was difficult and messy. “He’ll be fine, Obito.”

“Are you going to fail this team too?” Failing his last team had guaranteed Kakashi another six months of active work, what could have been another year, if enough kids had failed the graduation exam.

“Probably.”

“You’re such a jerk.”

Obito kissed right below Kakashi’s ear and Kakashi heard a small sigh. Obito wasn’t ready for the hug to end, so Kakashi reached up, moved the top of Obito’s t-shirt, and kissed along the side of Obito’s neck, inhaling the fresh scent of Obito’s body wash. The smell reminded Kakashi of pine, crisp and clean. Obito must have been out of citrus soap. After Obito pulled back, Kakashi lowered his mask and leaned in for a lingering kiss. They still had two rooms left, and they’d killed one hour, between breakfast and their conversations. They couldn’t kiss forever. Kakashi was on his feet first, and he offered a hand to help Obito off the floor. Obito went back to the bedroom to finish packing, while Kakashi stopped across from the bathroom and began packing away towels and linen.

“My friends!” Gai was early. He stood at the open front door, juggling three paper cups. Steam was steadily rising from the openings in the plastic lids. Kakashi hoped it was coffee. “I have brought us coffee, to help motivate us!”

“Did you say coffee?” Obito had rushed from the bedroom, leaving a half-empty cardboard box near the open doorway to the room. Gai let out a hearty laugh and passed one of the cups to Obito; then, he passed one of the cups to Kakashi. The third cup, he kept for himself. “You remembered how I take my coffee!”

“Of course I remember! A friend knows. You take extra cream. Kakashi prefers his black,” Gai grinned, flashing them a thumbs up. It was then that Kakashi noticed three kids standing out in the hallway. “I have forgotten my manners. You know Neji,” Gai said, beginning to motion to each student, “Tenten, and Lee. I mentioned that I needed to help you move, and they volunteered to help!”

“No, we didn’t,” Tenten muttered, arms crossed over her chest. “You told us this was training.”

“This is training! We can work on our bodies and help Gai-sensei’s friends move house!” Lee also gave a thumbs up.

“I refuse,” Neji stated, turning to walk away. Tenten looked ready to follow him, but Lee grabbed them both and marched them into the apartment. The three stood there, taking in the sight of the empty rooms. The walls bare, the throw rugs gone, every small part of the main rooms packed away in the cardboard boxes.

“Look at how many boxes there are!” Lee’s eyes widened, and then he turned to Gai. “Let us carry them! We can make it in two trips!”

“Please no,” Tenten mumbled.

“I can’t handle two of them,” Obito said, hiding his mouth behind his hand. He’d leaned over to whisper in Kakashi’s ear. Lee and Gai stood next to each other, talking animatedly about the number of boxes versus how many trips they’d truly need to take. “I wish everyone else wouldn’t have lied to get out of helping us.”

“Enjoy your coffee, Obito.” Kakashi snuck a quick kiss to Obito’s cheek, and then his mask was back in place again. No one saw a thing. “We’re almost done packing. Lee, help Obito with the bedroom. Tenten, Neji, please finish packing the linen closet. Gai, we can start carrying boxes.”

Kakashi and Gai carried most of the boxes toward the _genkan_ and then prepared to leave. They’d decided to take the living room items first. Gai insisted on carrying two large boxes at once; Kakashi had convinced him not to carry three, as two already obstructed Gai’s vision. Kakashi had to lead the way along the streets, since Gai couldn’t see. Since it was still mid-morning, and it was graduation day at the academy, they didn’t run into too many people. They cut across side streets, avoiding the main marketplace, and continued the two blocks to Kakashi’s home. It would have been easier to store everything in scrolls, but they didn’t have enough storage scrolls, and storage scrolls weren’t exactly cheap. Kakashi didn’t want to spend a lot of money on scrolls he’d only use once. Besides, Gai had been thrilled to help.

The house was a traditional house, and it was on a nice patch of land. The land had been claimed since Konoha had been founded, and it all belonged to the Hatake clan. Back then, the clan had been larger, but war ate away at its members, until only Sakumo and Kakashi remained. Kakashi remembered his father telling him about deceased family members. The Hatake clan had been a well-respected clan with skilled shinobi, and all of them had used the same summoning contract. Kakashi remembered the day he signed that contract, but that was for another time. Kakashi unlocked the door and pushed it open, then he led the way into the empty home. The flooring had been replaced, from the wood floor to the tatami mats, so he and Gai left their sandals at the door and went in to deposit the boxes. The living room had no furniture, so they dropped the boxes in the middle of the room. That had been where Kakashi had found his father. He tried not to linger, but he did.

“This is a wonderful home,” Gai said, interrupting Kakashi’s moment. Kakashi didn’t know what to say, so he nodded. He felt a hand drop onto his shoulder, then Gai squeezed. That was it. “Let us return! We can race! I will get to your apartment first, or I will run one-hundred laps around the village, on my hands!”

“Hm? Did you say something?”

“Gah! So hip and cool!”

The whole moving process took hours. Their work stretched throughout the hottest part of the day. When all of the apartment had been packed, boxes stacked near the door, furniture sealed into large scrolls, all of them came together and began walking the route from the apartment to the home. Neji and Tenten didn’t look happy, but neither of them complained. Moving took a lot out of all of them. They had to lift, carry, and drop heavy boxes, and they needed it done before nightfall. When the last box was deposited, in the large, upstairs bedroom, they all went to the kitchen and Obito made _onigiri_. Apparently, Gai planned on entering his team in the next chunin exams, which wasn’t surprising, as he’d forced them to wait an entire year before recommending them. Kakashi thought they could handle it. Gai’s position as a jonin sensei made Kakashi wonder if he even had a chance at being a decent jonin sensei. He wasn’t into kids, and he wasn’t much of a teacher. He was a leader, and there was a difference. But then he realized he didn’t need to worry about being a jonin sensei. He hadn’t found a team worthy of his instruction. It was after seven, when Team Gai finally left the house. They’d managed to unpack the kitchen, but the other boxes remained, all grouped in their appropriate rooms. They had some issues with certain rooms though. Obito and Kakashi hadn’t had a dining room at their apartment, and they’d only had one bedroom. The home had three bedrooms.

“Kakashi!” Obito had gone to explore one of the bedrooms, and Kakashi had thought that maybe Obito had moved on to unpacking, but that wasn’t the case. Obito had gone into the bedroom Kakashi had turned into storage. Kakashi slowly entered the room. The place smelled musty and dust coated every available surface, but Obito didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care. “I found a photo album! Look, it’s us!”

“Us?” Kakashi sat on the floor next to Obito, their knees brushing. He leaned over to see the photo album, and that’s when he saw a younger version of himself surrounded by other children. It must have been a birthday party, or maybe just a regular outing at the playground. The more he thought about it, the more he remembered. “Is that the day we met?”

“Yeah! Your dad must have taken a picture.”

“You’re glaring at me.”

“I always won the games, until _you_ showed up,” Obito said, bumping shoulders with him. He could pick out Rin, her bright smile blinding, even from in the background. Kakashi had been a different person then. “I found pictures of your mom too. She’s beautiful.”

“She was, wasn’t she?” Kakashi waited until Obito turned the page, and then he found himself staring at a black-and-white photo of his mother as a child. Below it, she was in color, her hair vibrant, her smirk genuine. Kakashi was like a carbon copy of his dad, but he saw little parts of his mother in himself. He hadn’t seen the photos in years, hadn’t looked at them since before his dad had died, so he’d almost forgotten her face. Kakashi was quiet, eyes locked on his mother’s color photo, until a hand rested atop his thigh.

“Do you want me to see if we can frame these?”

“Yes,” Kakashi managed to say, voice unusually soft. He tried to picture himself in a home with family portraits. When Obito turned the page, Kakashi found himself staring at an image of his dad and himself. They both wore smiles, though Kakashi’s wasn’t as large, wasn’t as expressive. He’d forgotten what his dad’s smile looked like. He remembered that day at the park, the last time his dad had picked him up there. Kakashi should have treasured their moments together.

“Look at me.” Obito closed the photo album and moved around until he sat before Kakashi. When Kakashi looked at Obito, he saw some pure determination. He read it in the way Obito sat, in the way Obito breathed. “We’re getting through this. I’m here.” Obito set the photo album on the floor and moved toward Kakashi, moved so that he was straddling Kakashi’s outstretched legs. Neither one of them said anything. Kakashi didn’t think Obito had noticed him struggling, but maybe his poker face had failed him.

“I know,” Kakashi sighed. Obito lowered his mask and kissed him. The kiss was soft, far too delicate, but exactly what Kakashi had needed. Kakashi wrapped his arms around Obito and lightly squeezed. They held one another until the streetlights came on, the light filtering through the open window. “Sometimes, it’s a little harder.” To keep going. To keep things together. To fight off the bad thoughts that had never entirely been resolved. 

“I know,” Obito said, repeating what Kakashi had just said. “Come on, I’ll unpack the boxes for the kitchen and I’ll make you _gyudon_.”

“Hm. Let’s get takeout. Someone promised me stargazing.”


End file.
